Getting (More of) What You Want book summary
🔑 Important Realisations and Teachable Moments
1. Negotiating is everywhere. 🎯
Negotiating occurs in relationships, job talks, parenting, and daily interactions—not only in business transactions.
We negotiate far more than we know, and honing this ability will help both personally and professionally.
Psychologists and economists have different approaches; the former emphasises incentives, trade-offs, and ideal results.
Psychologists pay close attention to people’s actual thoughts, feelings, and behaviours, including heuristics and biases.
Combining these points of view enables you to negotiate more successfully and prepare smarter.
BATNA = Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement; Understand Your BATNA.
Knowing your BATNA gives you confidence and leverage; it also helps you turn away poor offers.
4. Framing is everything. 😣
The appeal of an offer may be much enhanced by your presentation of it.
Framing something as a “gain” instead of avoiding a “loss,” for instance, can result in different choices—even with the same facts.
5. 🪞 Watch Cognitive Biases.
Typical negotiating mistakes:
Inaccuracy
Anchoring, or depending too much on first figures,
Fixed-pie bias (assuming always win/lose negotiations)
Good negotiators stay flexible and examine their presumptions.
6. 😆 Seek Win-Win Results.
Pay attention to interests rather than positions; instead of debating set needs, find out why the other side wants what they want.
Using trade-offs and innovative ideas, one can create value for both sides.
7. Data-Driven Persuasion: 📊
If at all possible, make quantitative arguments since numbers more often influence people than nebulous ideas.
More than sentiment or instinct, preparation, knowledge, and strategic framing count.
8. 💡 You Get What You Negotiate, Not What You Deserve
Not negotiating at all is the most common error.
People, particularly women and under-represented groups, often forfeit money or opportunities by avoiding negotiation due to discomfort or anxiety.
✅ Thought of conclusion
Combining research-based techniques with practical and empowering advice, Getting (More of) What You Want is It teaches you how to prepare, frame, and negotiate with ethical influence, confidence, and clarity—so you win more often and create closer bonds along the way.